I am honoured to be joined by Sayra Player, Creator of the Goop featured Guided by Glow erotic meditation app as we discuss the many different facets of sexual empowerment including overcoming embarassment and shame through sexual healing, the importance of community support in personal growth, reconnecting with your body through your senses and opening up your sensuality, and so much more!
So grab a cup of your favourite cozy bevvy, personally I love a good french press coffee with cinnamon, and be a fly on the wall as us girlfriends chat openly and honestly about the different facets of women’s sexual empowerment.
Guided by Glow
- Introduction of guest Sarah Player and Guided by Glow
- Embarrassment and growing comfort in discussing sexuality
- Transforming through trauma and embracing one’s sexual identity
- Community and support in personal growth
- Exploring sexuality beyond societal norms
- Reconnecting with one’s body and sexuality
- Sexual healing and empowerment through Guided by Glow
- Addressing and overcoming sexual shame
- Expanding the definition and experiences of sex
- Importance of prioritizing sexual health and wellness
- Empowerment and transformation through embracing sexuality
Listen to the Episode
Sayra Player
My life’s focus is to create community and healing through fine art.” Sayra founded and teaches at The Playground, where she leads movement, psychedelic breath work and empowered parts work through scene study. She studied breathwork with David Elliot & Frequency Breathwork. her natural power of presence and awareness of her sensorial body gained her a seat at The Actors Studio, where she has grown alongside acting legends. The sensory approach practiced there is much like that of somatic therapy, going into the tension (perhaps past trauma), unlocking the trapped energy through imagination, through being deeply curious.
She spent months in Poland and Italy searching for the potential of aliveness, through ancient song and exercise with the iconic Workcenter of Jerzy Grotowski. Her Jungian mentor Elizabeth Kemp taught her how to harness the power of my subconscious mind, to go deeper than making intentional choices but to work with the material of the soul to know the self deeply. As a creator. Sayra has written, produced, cast, starred in, directed film and theatre for her whole adult life. As an Artistic Director of The Collective NY (founding member Amy Schumer), she nurtured over 60 artists, produced 10 plays, a benefit, a fundraiser, developed television and film. She also created Guided by Glow the #1 sexual meditation audio app for female and nonbinary embodiment practices. As a mom, she produces a beautiful and safe container for her 10 year old to blossom.
Website
Show Notes
Use code UNAPOLOGETIC for one month free of Guided by Glow!
Stay tuned to email or Instagram for our giveaway coming up very soon!
Transcript
Hello and welcome to the Unapologetic with Janine McKinnon podcast. I’m your host Janine, manifesting maven, lunar ritualist, nature lover, sex magic expert, and empowering confidence and sexuality coach. If you’d like, you can think of me as your witchy bestie who calls you out on your self deprecating cycles.
You’re in the right place. The Unapologetic with Janine McKinnon podcast is here to help women like you to thrive as your most radiant and happy self. Here you can find inspiration and tools taken from my one on one coaching sessions and group experiences to support you in your journey. We’ll cover things like societal conditioning, inner child healing.
Pleasure Practices, Manifestation Techniques, Approachable Rituals, and All Around Women’s Empowerment. My goal is to shift your perspective and give you actionable takeaways so you can walk away from these episodes feeling inspired to create a life that ignites your soul. Thank you so much for being here.
I’m so grateful we’re able to connect in this way and I can’t wait to dig into the contents of this episode with you. Without further ado, let’s get into it.
Hello! Today I am here with Sarah Player from Guided by Glow and I’m just so excited to get into our conversation about sexual empowerment and so many different juicy things. So thank you for being here, Sarah. Thank you for having me. I became a fan of yours. But maybe it’s two years ago now, and you’ve just been a really strong supporter of this dream of mine that has, uh, has really blossomed.
So it’s really nice to be back here with you and connecting again. Yeah, it’s really nice. I think it’s been probably somewhere between the two to three year mark, um, that we’ve been connected. Um, and we did that Instagram live a couple of years ago, a giveaway then, and it’s really nice to reconnect, to be able to have you here on the podcast, have some other collaborations in the work, and yeah, I’m excited.
Yeah, me too. I think it’s wild that we’ve both, Moved into breathwork. I think that’s really amazing. Yeah. I can’t wait to collaborate further. It’s really going to be exciting. Yeah, I think so too. It’s so interesting how our journeys evolve over the few years and we dabble into these different things while still having like that core message and women empowerment, sexual empowerment, but playing with these different modalities and different flavors, we can get that out there.
And we can go so deep with the breath work. It’s like out of the mind and into the body. I think that’s what we were. Trying to do in the beginning and then, you know, getting a taste of that breath work. I was like, Oh, this is, uh, this is like the, uh, super, super, let’s say express elevator, you know, right?
This is how we do it. Yeah. So I love it. If you could start out just saying a little bit more about who you are, what you do and why you’re so passionate about it. Thank you. I am Sarah Player and I am an actress and you know, you’ll see me on television here and there and films here and there and theater here and there and I live in New York City.
I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I’m a teacher. I have an acting studio. I have a breathwork studio and, um, four years ago, I guess it’s getting up there. I don’t know. I started guided by glow. Um, and, uh, I started it. I got the idea pre pandemic. I was listening to a meditation and he had a nice voice and I thought.
That would be so nice if somebody who is embodied and, you know, have the spiritual connection to the listener went on to speak to me erotically. So I was like, this idea is brilliant and it must be all over the place. So I looked all over the place and I was, you know, ah, get this out of my ears as quick as possible.
You know, there was a lot of that. Um, you know, when you go to look for something to turn you on, it’s, you know, a lot of different things turn a lot of different people on. So, and a lot of those things I find, uh, really hard to consume because there’s a lot of pain and there’s a lot of toxicity and, but not in all of it.
Um, and I, I have now that I have this, there’s, there’s, and there’s also been so many coming up, but not. Any that are doing what glow does, which is through embodiment. It’s all through embodiment, all through the senses, like being with a guide who’s speaking to you, who’s the center of the experience.
You’re not listening to a story about someone else. You’re being guided through, uh, felt experience, hopefully, you know, and inspired Sensorily in erotic situations. So it’s, it is, um, definitely for, you know, sexual satisfaction. And I thought it was a good business idea. Once I found it didn’t exist and I thought it was so beautiful.
And I thought, Oh my God, I don’t know anything about sex. How can I do this? You know, I’m an actress, I’m a Yogi, I’m a meditator. And then I. I just wrote something. I was like this, if somebody who was like heart centered, read this to me, it was really honest about desire, their desire, it would be really exciting to me.
So I was like, okay, I’m going to see if this is sexy. So I sent it to a bunch of my friends. I was like, is this sexy? You know, usually we just do sexy things very privately and it either. Our partners into it or not, you know, um, so the beginning was like, what is sexy? And anyway, I, I have a good sense now it’s, it is through the senses and how, you know, I’m all around all these sexual wellness, uh, practitioners and it’s, it’s somatic experience.
It’s, you know, it’s close to some people get to meditation, you know, really having a present embodied felt. experience. Um, so yeah, so I have a lot of actors and they, there’s no way in the beginning I would have recorded. I was so, I was, I would blush just thinking about creating the app.
But I had, um, I had done so much creative Production with other things. And I thought, I know how to do this as a, as a producer. So I just hired people that I knew were sexy. I was like, I know you have great sex. I know you’re so sexy. Will you read this? And they’re like, Oh my God, this would be so fun.
Which, you know, I think you asked that long story was to tell you, because I, I think. I wanted that. I wanted to learn how to be unafraid to be sexy. I didn’t know that. Um, I thought I had a great idea and I was a good producer and I could make something cool happen, which I was right. But I also, I would do a podcast.
I’m sure the first time we met, I had hives. I’m sure I had them all over my body. I’m sure I did because I had so many pockets of shame, you know, and, and it’s not until you get in it and start talking about it and start going, Oh, my body’s hot. Oh, I have hives. So I, and I had a. A coach, Kevin Courtney, who does this company called insight.
And he works with people and who are business entrepreneur entrepreneurs and CEOs and CFOs, and he keeps them spiritually aligned in their work. So they can speak to whoever they’re working with, with respect. And then, you know, and integrity with themselves and keep the business and integrity. So I would, every time I would break out in hives, I’d be like, Kevin.
So I was talking about, you know, something specific. And I had hives and he’s like, okay, well, let’s unpack it. Where’s the, you know, what does that bring up for you? And then we would just open all the things up and, you know, now, you know, I’ll tell people I created an erotic meditation app for women and I’ll see people just shut down, you know, and I, that’s a hundred percent okay with me.
There’s no way everybody’s going to be comfortable with that, you know, um, and that’s okay. But before I was like, Oh, what did I do? They think I’m a pervert. They, uh, you know, and I would just, it would send me into a panic of that shame that I, dear God, I’m sure all of us got men, women, everybody at some point, but you know, when desire came on.
Online for me, as you know, 13. I didn’t know what to do with it or, but I had, you know, uh, oh my God, was it shameful? Masturbation? Oh my God, was it not allowed? You know, so to be this person now was like, I make an app that’s so sexy for women to masturbate while they listen to and. Be okay with anybody’s response.
I mean, I’m, I’m trying not to say it when it’s, you know, inappropriate, which, you know, I’m, I don’t really know when it’s with children around is when it’s really, um, so yeah, that’s why I did it. I think I did it consciously because it was a very good idea and nobody else was doing it. You know, people are doing, you can find small channels, but I have 180 sessions.
So, you know, it’s like. You’re going to find someone that turns you on in there. Unless you don’t like being in your body. Um, then you have to fast forward to the sexy part. I have a lot of friends that are like, you know, why do you do that part at the beginning? And I’m like, because you need it. Could you please listen to the beginning?
It will help your life. Sometimes that, that, that can, you know, also not be true. Sometimes it’s. Some people in this world are not meant to really be in the body that’s there. Too much. Yeah. To each their own. But for us, whose aim is to wake up and land in our body and feel our feelings and connect powerfully and authentically.
I, I made this thing four years ago for us.
Yes, it really is. Such a powerful tool and such an interesting journey for you too. It’s, I feel like this work just has a way of calling people forward. Um, like before I started my program that set me on trajectory to do sexual empowerment coaching, just a few months prior to signing up, I would have had no idea.
that this is what I would be doing, but it was just like divine timing. Something hit at the right time. I said, yes, I had no idea what I was in for. And similar to what you share, like there was that embarrassment, that rosy cheeks at the beginning, and then moving through the journey more and more. I think it This journey has a way of just really compounding self love and acceptance for your authenticity.
And through being in your body, feeling your feelings, being willing to have the uncomfortable conversations, to feel it, to notice how you hive, have a bunch of hives in the conversation. How can people in your conversations, be willing to work on that rather than hide from it. It really calls you forward.
You touched on coaching as being a really helpful tool in that journey for you. I’m wondering if there was anything else that you found really supportive in your journey of going from. That more embarrassed, like having this idea, knowing it’s great, but feeling more sheepish about it to going through, um, speaking about it, pushing yourself to do that.
And then now where you feel so much more comfortable and confident speaking about it and whatever situations come up, as long as there’s not children around, um, what was that like for you and what tools really supported you in that? Well, I have. I have a relationship now with my triggers, which is, you know, a big emotional response that’s maybe bigger than the situation, you know?
Mm-Hmm. . Um, now when I have them, I’m like, oh, something, you know, it’s, it feels like a door. Like I know not to jump, jump in, in the way it’s asking me to in the moment, but just breathe and like. No, that I need to go to my community. Now I have, you know, when I started this, I had, I had a coach and that was Kevin, and then I got another coach and then I have circles.
of women and men and people regularly. I have circles. I have, I’m endlessly hungry for community. I learn in community. I grow in community. So I have You know, a pretty long list, you know, when I have a reaction to something that I can go to my list of insanely evolved, beautiful, spiritual people who know me, that I can first tell the story of what happened, you know, like really put it in the light.
That’s how I felt this would happen. And usually just at this point, telling my story, Knowing where that trigger originated. Usually it’s a feeling I can go, okay, how old was I? Oh, and then it’s take time and meditate on that event and like fully feel it in that meditative space. That’s a healing, you know, that creates.
It’s space for love to come in and transformation. So it’s not just pain and hiding and fear and that, uh, avoidant instinct. So that’s what I do. You know, I just, I rely on my community and my belief that, uh, that feeling into things and knowing them well, and then integrating, you know, turning it upside down.
Like what is the power in this? Trigger like when it, when it, when I feel this and I can turn it upside down and empower that part of me. And you know, if it’s old or childish part of me, give it the nurturing it needed now, you know? Oh, I’m telling somebody and I think they think I’m a pervert, honey.
You’re not, you’re a beautiful sexual being. Everybody is a sexual being. That’s how we create life. That’s our creative force. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know, so that just comes in. So it’s like, you know, all the ways. I know you do it too. You’re speaking like, we are just so in alignment in like all different ways.
I know we are. Because I resonate completely with every step you shared. And that’s what I do myself. It’s what I walk clients through. And so much of it really comes to like one being willing to face those triggers. Rather than run away or hide from them or giving them that power to just take over to really have that awareness and allow ourselves to feel them and then getting curious, giving space for that stillness.
that quiet to really be able to explore things and work through them. And I also really loved how you touched on community because I think it is so, so important. Um, and recent years with everything, community got shattered for so many people. Um, and I know with the motherhood journey as well, community can be such this shift from what we had before to this new life.
Uh, and many ways it can be like, we’re starting from scratch with our communities, or as we really come into. our authenticity, our unapologetic selves. Again, there can be that shift in community. It’s not quite fitting with the people we previously found that in, and it can be hard to really call that forward.
So it sounds like for you, it was a bit of a journey. You had your coach, another coach, and then you were able to really build up this long list with all the circles and different things like that. That, um, how was that for you? Was it very intentional? Did it just kind of find its way to you? Um, and what has that power been in having community and how it fuels you?
You know, one thing, all these things were touching on community, uh, asking for help from friends to like really sift through deep personal things. Um, and the friends. My friends, they just listen, you know, sometimes they’ll give a little framework of what they hear. Nobody’s there to fix, you know, so. I’ve forgotten the question.
What was the question? What was it like for you building that sense of community? Because it sounded like it started more so with the coaches and then grew and grew. Was it intentional? Just kind of happened? It was very, it was very intentional. I, you know, I built this business And I could tell I was in a little madness with like, I was up, it was insane to build this business.
I worked so hard. I really hope this thing eventually takes off in a big way. I worked so hard for it. But until then, it’s definitely touching many women. And I’m, I’m so grateful for that. But yeah. I needed it. I mean, how much help did we all need during COVID? Many of us didn’t figure it out, I guess, but I, I had luckily, I had joined a 12 step meeting, which was before the COVID, which was, uh, adult children of alcoholics, so I was going before COVID, I was going into these rooms of all these people talking about like, Really personal traumatic stuff and trying to learn these 12 steps and, you know, find their way to grieve all these parts.
And, you know, eventually I found David Schwartz, the internal family systems. So I just. Became super curious about parts work and about that kind of growth. So during the shutdown, when, when it was like, fear, everybody be afraid, things are different. Like, you know, the, uh, we were in Montauk and there was no boats, you know, everything was like, apocalyptic, you know, it was really hard to be in acceptance.
So I knew I needed the feeling of growth, you know, not the feeling of fear and dying, I needed the like, to flip over fear and feel the love. And I felt that with those meetings, and I had a friend who we were doing a book together, they have workbooks, they’re beautiful. And we did this workbook. And I mean, it was just so much growth in the middle of fear.
Um, and then just endlessly hung. I’m just endlessly hungry for growth. So, uh, I just look, I look, I meet people and I also know I can ask for anything from the universe. Hey, I want, I want a circle with. All entrepreneurs, you know, it’s going to, I’m going to see it, it’s going to come, you know, so that’s definitely worked and now I’m just, I’m pretty saturated community.
I’m pretty maxed out, but, um, yeah, yeah, so many chills as you were talking about that story and starting with the 12 steps and then working through that book together. And it, I think it really shows the power and the depth of having. Those real deep authentic connections where you truly open yourself up to be seen, to have that growth, to work through those things.
There’s something so special and so supportive of it. And I’m seeing this kind of commonality through different things you’re saying with Opening yourself up, putting your intention in the universe, and just knowing like those circles are going to happen, they’re going to come to you. And I’m sensing this very like feminine energy, like opening up yourself to receive, to ask for help from your community when you notice this trigger.
And I feel like Guided by Glow is this beautiful tool for people to really Lean in to their feminine energy. And I know for me as someone who was very like, go, go, go boss babe. Super productive, high achieving energy, very much in my masculine energy. It was hard to make that shift at first, and that’s what really started my sexual empowerment journey and me finding guided by glow to begin with.
And I feel like it blends this. Great combination between what I classify as like masturbation and slow pleasure because I feel like there’s really this range, this approach to it. And like you had touched on some friends who are like fast forwarding, want to get right to it and there’s no right or wrong.
Like we all have great things that work for us in different times and places and situations. Um, but that’s kind of at one level. And there’s so many different things, and towards the other is that more slowness, that more really dropping into your body, building your relationship with your body, noticing those feelings, those sensations, and then being able to play with your sexual energy throughout that.
Um, so I just love to hear a bit more on your thoughts of that slow pleasure, perhaps that feminine energy, and how they work together.
Well, you know, for me, I, I’m a method actress, which means that you use your real self for the given circumstances and our real selves are so complex, right? So, so there’s a myriad of. Me’s that could come to any given circumstance, but that’s just to explain method acting, but method acting is also. They know it’s a sensorial experience.
You know, that when you, when you see one of your favorite actors, you know, who’s a method actor, um, you’re going to see them live and breathe in their body. They’re not up there playing their action and doing, you know, you can see the people who are like that, who are just like speaking words and, you know, very mental and like more masculine.
And then, uh, and then you can see, you know, uh, Bong Ho Jun, is that his name? I never can remember my favorite actor’s name. He’s Korean. Anyway, he’s amazing. Um, uh, but Brando, Ellen Burstyn, you know, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper. Um, there’s, there’s, I could go on forever. There’s so many beautiful method actors, but they are, In their body.
They’re like an open oyster, you know, you touch and they respond. And so the work is sensorial and they do, we do a lot of sensorial exercises, you know, and, you know, an exercise would be to go through the senses and just smell for a minute. Just, you know, Be a body that smells and then be a body that can hear and even me saying it, if you gave your attention to it for a second, just to hear the room, like you land in your body and you’re suddenly more sensual in your body, you know, which is an entry point for pleasure.
And yes, it’s slow. Um, and can get heated and go into wherever, you know, but the entry point for me as an actor has always been through my senses, you know, to really get in my body, the whole of me, what makes me feel like a flower soaking in the sun. And if rain lands on me, it was just like alive and vibrant, um, and ready.
And, and I, I was like, that’s, That is that also is what turns me on, you know, so in creating those I was like sensory is the way let’s Everything’s about sensory. Let’s Stimulate the senses with these words
So yeah, I I think slow pleasure is the same thing It’s just really taking your time to land in your body and then it can go Anywhere, at any speed. I’m just like getting turned on as you’re talking about the flower and the sun. I’m so sensorial as well. And I hadn’t thought about it until hearing you speak like that.
I think that’s why I felt so connected. With guided by glow, because it really is able to turn on those different senses without even really thinking about it. But the way you’re, um, the center of this experience and guided through it, it slowly brings all of those online to really support you and getting in your body.
And, um, for some, it can be a challenge to do at first, if you’re on your own, not really sure of how to do it, but the way it’s. Walked through in those stories. It’s such a like delicious, easy flowing way. You don’t have to think about it. You don’t have to try. You just really drop into it. And it just opens yourself up in this completely other way.
It’s, I do a similar five senses reality with myself. I weave it into sex magic. I weave it into my client sessions as really that beginning foundation to really be able to. See, feel, hear, touch, taste what it’s like to fully embody whatever you’re wanting to call in. And it’s just such a powerful tool, both for getting in your body, becoming that high vibrational match, to call in what you’re manifesting, calling in from the universe.
It really is a powerful tool and I love your flavor of weaving that into Guided by Glow. It’s really unique. Yeah, I, I really did it because it was the only thing I knew, you know, and then the more I researched sexual healing, I was, I realized that’s what, that’s what everybody was doing. We are human. We are sensorial beings.
Our experience is sensorial. So yeah, I mean, we can, you know, read a book and it can stimulate our senses also, but yeah. Yeah, and I think a lot of that disconnect, um, people can begin to have with their sexuality and perhaps numbness or those different feelings of shame. Some of that can come from what I see is like a common narrative and you might see it like in porn or in different movies and things like that, where it’s not a sensorial experience.
It’s more like goal orientated. Yeah. Yeah. It is like, get her done, and that shuts us down when we are sensorial beings, when we do like to play in that, and if this is all we’re being presented, we shut down around it, so in having sexual healing, being able to play into these different realms is where we’re really able to Open ourself up a little bit more, right?
Begin to turn on, feel these sensations, get into our body. And so you touched on it a little bit at the beginning and I did a bit here, um, is that shame that is so common, um, around women and sexuality. We live in a world where it’s such mixed messaging. Like, sex sells, we see that everywhere, but at the same time, don’t be too much, keep it behind closed doors, don’t speak about it publicly, and things like that, it’s really challenging, and I think it becomes this, like, dark cloud of embarrassment or shame, and it can be hard to really feel empowered when we have this so closely tied.
With her sexuality. Um, so I’m just curious what it’s been like for you or with different women you’ve spoken with, who have used the app, um, what you notice around that sexuality shame. Well, I have, I had three big things come up. The first one is the last time I had a big sexual shaming, which I still haven’t figured out what action to take.
I mean, I took some actions, they didn’t do anything. Was Google Play deleted Glow, deleted it, said it didn’t follow guidelines. There’s a lot of other apps that do what glow does. The only difference is glow is more meditative. And I really, I have no idea. Um, so the only right action I could think of was to, you know, write back and, you know, I wrote, you know, everything that glow does, everything that it does not do that’s on it’s and nothing.
So. I really have no idea what to do with that, but I did feel so ashamed felt like, and it wasn’t conscious. It wasn’t like, yeah, I, you should, it was just like, I felt small, like Google play thinks I’m shameful doing something bad. And it’s not, it’s not to be consumed, but these others. They’re, they’re not bad.
You’re bad. And I’m like, I don’t even know why I’m bad. I don’t even know what I did wrong. And they won’t tell me. And you know, the first letter, I didn’t mention any names of other apps. Cause I’m like, I don’t want to throw them under the bus in case they don’t know. And I was like, no, there’s so many. So I wrote back and said, please tell me what’s different.
And they told me nothing. Um, so there’s that, which is, you know, we’re, I’m in puritanical America, and it may change, but for now, all the Google users, I have to teach them how to get into the website, which is fine. Um, and the other thing that was a good, uh, a more, a brighter moment in this work is a user reached out and said she had sex with her husband for the first time after two years of trying after listening to glow three times.
Wow. And you know, I didn’t cry, you know, but I got the sense that she just,
Maybe the fear and shame was taken away in the process. You know, cause there’s a lot, she had vaginismus and that’s where there’s no penetration. She had sex, but there was no penetration. Um, and you know, she had a lot of feelings of inferiority around that. I think that’s kind of common and, and to bring in all of this love and safety with this app.
And I think it just gave her space to. Feel comfortable alone. I don’t know what it did. I’ve thought about it. I don’t know. Um, but that was huge. That really made me feel like this work was really impactful. And then the other thing about shame is, uh, you know, I, one of the things that is the central driving force of this app is Sex in the light.
Like what is sex in the light? What is sex that is heart centered? You know, there, there’s, there’s some shadowy sex. There’s one guy who loves affairs and I’m like, you go do your affair thing. Why it’s fantasy, you know, like there, there’s not, there’s, there’s, there’s less rules and fantasy. Um, but for the most part, it’s.
It’s sex devoid of, like, being what you would feel was bad. Like, for me, personally, having an affair would suck. It would really suck in my life. Having a fantasy about it might be fun. But, most of the time, this is sex that’s, like, unabashedly, Full of desire and fearlessly intimate, you know, like I tell the guides, you know, don’t be afraid to be as sexy as you want.
Like the more turned on you are, the better you’re doing a huge gift. You’re giving like this really personal, beautiful part of yourself to women all over or trans or I don’t know. Who’s listening. Men are listening. I don’t know what they think. Hopefully they’re really listening, getting some tips, but you know, it’s the heart of it is service service to give pleasure.
So pleasure can become not shameful because when you have that kind of experience and I think in the way it’s held, I don’t. I don’t think people walk away going, Oh, I just, I can’t believe I did that. And even then, what was it? New York. Oh, I should know these things. New York. It wasn’t the New York post.
It was, it was a daily, daily news, daily beast, daily beast, something. Uh, this young woman was, Giving the app to all of her friends for them to respond. And one of their responses was it was the first time I ever masturbated with pornography and didn’t feel bad.
So, yes, the whole central thing is to like, just open up to pleasure, sex and the like. Like, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Sure, bring your shadows out to play. Like, Yeah, you know, it’s a fantasy and, but it’s held in a space that’s like human guides are really, I’m lucky I know so many stunning people who are sexy and generous.
So, yeah. Yeah. So beautiful. Again, getting chills as you’re talking about the different women’s stories and what really resonates so deeply with me is something I say over and over again. Um, but the greatest transformation comes through the taboo and sexuality is such a taboo and we can use it as a portal of transformation that creates these ripple effects in our life because And pursuing this pathway for empowerment, we are cultivating, and you use some of the words yourself, that, that self love, that understanding that acceptance for our core authentic desires, our authentic being.
And when we can do that in this area that we feel that shame, feel that embarrassment, whatever it might be, when we’re able to really Overcome that. Meet that with all of those things. It has that ripple effect for how we show up in our life. Like that first woman you touched on where after listening for three times, that was something she did personally, right?
On her own listening to the app. And then after just three times listening to it, was able to bring that into her partnership and to have that beautiful experience with her husband. And I’m sure that really affected how they then showed up to, in their world, with others. Like, it really is such a ripple effect that this has, and it’s something people can shy away from, but it is so, so powerful.
And you can hear it with, um, that woman at, I, now I forget what you said, it wasn’t New York Post, it was the Daily Movement. Daily Movement. Daily Beast. Daily Beast, yeah. And just sharing it, um, with all the women she knows and hearing their different experiences. It’s, it’s, it really is incredible. Um, but one other thing I wanted to touch on that you kind of was like, Ooh, let’s go there, um, is again with that first woman, um, and with the vaginismus and, um, The penetration not being as available, and that’s a very common scenario.
And I haven’t had this conversation publicly. Um, but personally, like, I find it really interesting that the common narrative is sex is a penis in vagina. Penetration sex. And that’s what we consider to be that. But for me personally, but it’s like such this huge range and sex, like you can have no penetration involved.
And have this beautiful, connected, fun, playful, passionate experience without even touching that. So I’m just curious your thoughts on that because I don’t think it’s spoken about enough. And with it being so focused on like P and V penetration, um, I think it just keeps it so focused on that. And I’d really like to open up those possibilities for those listening that there really is so much.
So much more available to us, regardless of what our different health issues are or how we feel in the moment. Um, so yeah, I just love it if you wanted to kind of share a riff on that a bit. Yeah, I, I also, you know, had that discovery, uh, when I realized, you know, that you did that sex didn’t necessarily mean that, you know, so like 95, I hope to still be having sex.
Um, so for me, you know, it’s just still feels very personal. I don’t really know what, I just know what I like, you know? Um, and as far as what I curate, I, we have all sorts of. You know, experiences of what happens and what doesn’t sometimes the guide guided experience, there’s no contact with another person.
And, you know, it’s really just about you. And sometimes it’s imagining that you’re with someone and it’s only oral sex. And sometimes, you know, I just. I hope everybody’s had the message that sex can look anyway, it just needs to feel right for both of the people and they’re communicating and moving toward what feels like an opening and connection.
Absolutely. Like for me. The core of sex is really that deep connection with that sexual energy flowing. And the way to have that comes in all different flavors and colors and different ways. It really is whatever feels right in that moment between that person, those people, whatever that situation is. Um, but there’s lots that’s available.
Yeah. All right. Well, as we wrap things up, I’m curious if you have any last messages or advice for women on their sexual empowerment journeys. I, I do want to say. You know, I, I didn’t realize how many times I say, you know, I know I, I didn’t realize how, how I can easily not prioritize my sexual health. And by sexual health, I mean,
being sexual, like feeling pleasure, you know, uh, putting oil on after the bath and feeling it. You know, masturbating, um, you know, having sex with my husband or, you know, all the different things, but like really letting in that sensuality into my life, I, I can be unconscious that I’ve just turned it off.
And it happens to me now, but it happens just like I can forget. I need to exercise and I can be like, Oh, I’m so depressed. My back hurts. The last time you exercise, Oh, I don’t feel like it. You know, no, no, we need, I need all the things I need mental health. I need physical health. I need emotional health. I need sexual health.
Did I say spiritual? I need, I need all of them. Okay. And I have to somehow keep them all finding their space. You know, even as a mother busy, busy woman, they all need their space and sex is included. We know we need to exercise. We know we need to eat right. We know, but we also need to feel sexual. It’s connected to creativity that it’s created to like.
Yourself. It’s that chakra down there that’s like grounding in the I am, you know, like I, I’ve 100% believe in the, the power of the energy, that creative energy that is linked to sexuality. Mm-hmm. , I mean, it’s obvious. It creates babies, creates life. But it’s when you approach sexuality as a practice. Of a conscious, expansive, In the light practice, look out, you know, I was just sick for two weeks.
So I’m crawling back in with all of my, you know, wellness and gone to yoga three times and, you know, remembering what being a sensual being is like, and, you know, it’s a practice and like all of them, I kind of do this cyclical thing. So, you know, if someone doesn’t know it’s a practice and that it’s a beautiful way to Empower yourself and become, you know, not that we’re here just to attract people, but it’s very attractive when someone lives in their body and in their senses and is sexually centered, you know, and in that practice, it’s.
It’s a nice. It’s a good thing to give yourself. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. And I love how you said, um, giving each of those things time. It’s not like they all need to be in perfect balance. They don’t need to be this to do list that they, that we check off, but they need to be in our awareness. We need to keep them within practice and weaving them in throughout our life and that’s going to shift day to day, depending if we’re sick or have a bunch going on with work or business or whatever it might be.
It’s going to ebb and flow, but to keep it in that awareness to keep it amongst our priorities and when it sometimes fall off and it’s inevitably going to happen. But I’ve heard a lot of women. I love that you said priorities and because a lot of women will say, I’m just not sexual anymore. I keep hearing it.
And I’m like, honey, start. And they’re like, what do you mean? And I’m like, Start, it grows like baths and oils, then get yourself some sex oil and see what that feels like. And I have a friend who said she’s not sexual anymore and she came to a workshop and I was, you know, she, I saw her looking at the crystal Yoni wands and I was like, you’re thinking about it.
She’s like, I’m thinking about one. Just see, just bringing it home is going to be exciting, you know, just try it, just play, just begin. You know, the first time you go to a yoga class, you’re like, ah, practice. Yeah. I’m so glad you touched on that because I’ve been hearing that over and over again as well.
It’s like, Oh, I left that behind. I’m just not sexual anymore. Like that’s not a part of me anymore. I feel like that when I let it go to, I can be like, nah, I’m not in the mood. It’s like, okay. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Yeah. Start slow. Yes. Yeah. We’ve all been there and it’s an innate part of us. It’s in all of us. And it’s something we can reconnect with.
And like you said, start slow, go slow. Like I’ll often recommend, like you said, starting with the oil. Um, I love a good face massage. Um, just really working it in there and nourishing your face, which doesn’t normally get that attention feels so good. Good. And building those blocks one on top of each other, you reignite this within yourself and then you really tap into that like sparkling life force again, right?
So juicy. And well, thank you so much for this conversation. It’s been such a pleasure, uh, for those listening, where can they connect with you if they’re wanting to connect, see what you’re all about and, um, perhaps join for some of those workshops or something else. Oh, yes. Well, at guided by glow is the Instagram.
The website is guided by glow. By glow. com for the Google users. You will be going there. Um, we’re on iOS. It’s guided by glow and I have A month free for all of your listeners. The code is unapologetic and I’m saver player at saver player. And I, I just want to point out that, um, that, that you’re going to make a sex magic one soon.
And I’m really excited about that. And I love, I really did pray for you or whatever you call it, when you send out that desire. And I even made a poster, which we don’t have to use, we can use whatever, but, but I was ready for it. And there you were. So thank you. Thank you for coming back into my life. And I’m really excited for, our next collab.
I’m excited too. It’s just all in divine timing. It’s so interesting how it’s worked out. Um, and it’s going to be a lot of fun doing that sex magic recording and got a few other things in the work to like expand on it more and more because it’s such, um, A powerful tool, um, for really being able to tap into that sexual energy and to be able to use it in different ways.
Like, we can heal ourselves. We can manifest our relationships to be in a certain way. We can, I’ve manifested this tattoo. I literally won this in a giveaway. Like there is like crazy power, um, to these different things that we can do. Um, so I’m very excited with that or for that as well. I will have all that information in the show notes, um, unapologetic, one month free, um, for guided by glow.
And we’re going to have a giveaway, um, coming up as well. So check out the show notes for that. And yes, something else. Yes. One more thing. And it was. Um, you know, in case any of my people listen, which hopefully they will, got it right, people. Um, I know you’re a coach and I just told you how much I need coaches.
So, um, I would love to know that they just reach out to you and Instagram to find out more about your coaching. Yeah. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Yeah. So my Instagram, which I’ll have included as well as at Janine. dot McKinnon. This is the podcast. I’d love for you to follow along, subscribe, um, stay connected through the episodes.
And then on my website, Janine McKinnon. com is where I have all the information for working with me for my different programs, one on ones. Um, I’m going to be starting some different circles and things like that as well. Yes. And you’re in Canada. Yes. Yeah. On the West Coast. You can be on Zoom also. Yeah, um, the majority of my work is online on zoom, um, and then some local things as well.
Nice. Wonderful. Yeah, great. Well, thank you so much. Like I said, it’s just been such a pleasure having this conversation and so much is in an alignment and I’m really excited for a collaboration as well. Me too. Thank you. Thank you for having me and thank you for listening. If anybody listened this long, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining us inside the Unapologetic with Janine McKinnon podcast. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If you feel called, I would so appreciate it if you shared about this episode in your stories or left us a review to help us reach more women on their unapologetic journey. As a thank you for your support, you’ll be entered into a monthly draw for a free coaching session.
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Until next time, trust your inner wisdom and create some magic.
