When it comes to finding more pleasure in your relationship, many people turn to new toys or adventurous positions. While these can add excitement, the novelty often fades, leaving you searching for the next “fix” without addressing the deeper roots of lasting pleasure.

In this episode, we’re diving into the four inner shifts that can dramatically expand your capacity for pleasure—far beyond the surface-level quick fixes. Discover how to unlock deeper connection, confidence, and joy in your relationship by focusing on what truly matters: your mind, body, and energy.

Listen To The Episode

Inside This Episode

  • Breaking Free from the Routine: Unlocking True Sexual Expansion
  • Deep Diving Within: Shadow Work and Emotional Healing for Freer, More Joyful Sexuality
  • Owning Your Space: Cultivating Body Confidence and Comfort
  • The Art of Sensual Living: Activating Pleasure Through Your Senses
  • Channeling Sexual Energy: Breathwork and Energy Play for Maximum Fulfillment

Links

Transcript

Hello, N. Oh, welcome to another Tuesday transmission episode inside the unapologetic with Janine McKinnon podcast. It is almost at Christmas time. At time of recording this, this episode will be released on Christmas Eve.

And I am just feeling so grateful for the holiday season, Christmas

Throughout most of my life excluding like early childhood, but through older childhood teenage hood and most of adulthood up until. Um, these last few years, really Christmas was never. That big of a thing for me. And I got tossed into all of this craziness with a bigger family who wants to spend all of our time.

And there was navigating that, and I felt like too much and all of these things, but I find. These last few years, and just now talking about it out loud and reflecting on it, I feel like through my work with sacred sexuality, Has really opened me up to the magic of Christmas. And that might sound weird, like voting those two things together.

And I will say my kids just being the age, they are at five and seven is definitely a big part of it, but I wouldn’t be open to see. The full magic of it all in the excitement that they have. If it wasn’t for my work within sacred sexuality and that’s because being able to become so present with myself. With all of my senses and being able to transfer that into any moment, not just sexuality, but into the everyday moments of life. I have been able to just really take it all in and not allow myself to get super stressed out. And also be able to just be connected into the magic of this season.

I have this opportunity with our kids, with our family to make a thing of it. It doesn’t need to be this big. Over done huge thing. But what we do create as a family is. So special and I am just loving this. stuff we’ve been doing this as the second year, we’ve been incorporating an alpha in our own way.

It’s not necessarily the like traditional alpha on the shelf. But I we’ve been having fun with the, of. And it’s been low stress. It’s been creative and fun and connected and joyful. And I just, I love the excitement that’s within my kids. I love us being able to get together and do different things. And the date nights with my husband or D D is where we’d done Christmas shopping and just being able to navigate things together.

And again, it’s. Low stress. There’s no like fights or overwhelmed or anything like that. And so I guess I’m just sharing this because it is that time of the year, and this is just what’s alive and present for me. And also to share that. There’s so many hidden side effects, I guess I’d say or surprising side effects. Working within sacred sexuality. That translates outside of the bedroom.

Yes. Everything we get inside the bedroom is beautiful and pleasurable and our orgasmic and fantastic and all of these different things. And. It also just helps you live. A better life in general, being able to regulate your nervous system and just soak in the everyday magic of life, especially in the holiday season.

So. That’s just my words of encouragement for you showing you what’s possible. If that’s where you are. That’s amazing. Seriously celebrating you. And if that’s not where you are. That’s okay too. I’ve definitely been there within those whole realm of all different things that can come up over the holidays.

And I’m just sending you so much love for wherever you’re at. And

whether or not, that is something you desire to get to. Potentially is if you’re listening to this, it probably is. And so there are pathways there. And I guess I will get into the topics of today’s episode with you. And that is. That yes. New toys, new sex positions can be fun. But the novelty is going to wear off and chances are you’re going to be a left. Kind of where you were. At the beginning before you got that new toy or tried that new possession. And I think there is this. Drive for tips and tricks. Part of this comes from

 

 

being in a generation that rose raised on Cosmo and the tips and tricks do pleasure, man, and all these different things, making it seem like. Tips and tricks and pleasing others. Is our solution. To whatever it is.

It’s how things get better. And that’s just not actually the case. And I also think that this desire for trying. These new sex toys or trying these new positions or whatever it may be. That the underlying for that is this desire for more pleasure. For more connection for more juiciness, more fun, right. And again, yes, there’s nothing wrong with new toys or new positions. It’s just, there’s another pathway to more ness. That actually is so much longer lasting.

And rather than having like the high of the new tour, the new position, then having it wear off and get back to baseline, you’re able to continue. To build and build and expand and grow. With your pleasure.

Which I don’t know about you, but like that sounds so much more juicy to me then that new toy or that new position.

 

 

And I will add, there is definitely some weights. To some of these things like new positions. Especially if you’re someone who has maybe stayed within the realm of like one or two main positions. It can open up. Different pathways to pleasure it can. Build your sensations in different erogenous zones, activating different pleasure centers within your body.

And these different pleasure centers can affect your orgasms in different ways. So new positions definitely holds some weight to it and new toys can also open you up in different ways as well.

 

 

That said your pleasure is kept. In relation to your capacity for pleasure. So, yes, you might try these new toys or activate these different pleasure centers within your body through different positions. And still you are only going to be able to reach a particular level, which is your capacity for pleasure.

And that’s because of a variety of internal reasons. So with these new toys, new positions, we’re looking at external solutions for what is actually internal challenges. And so that’s why yes, they can help us in some ways they can be fun. But we end up back at that baseline because these internal things, which are actually the reason that our capacity is at a certain level are not being looked at.

And that is also why when we do look at these internal factors, We’re able to constantly move our baseline and our capacity for pleasure. Up and up and grow and grow. And so that’s why I offer this to you. If you are someone who has that desire for that. More ness for that newness to really be able to expand into those waves of ecstatic pleasure. There’s other ways to go about it than just that new toy, that new position.

 

 

 

And so some of these. Internal reasons that can be looked at that will expand your capacity for pleasure. Our subconscious programming. Your comfort and confidence in your body. Your connection with your five senses and your connection with your energy. And with your breath. So I’ll expand on those a little bit more. In terms of our subconscious programming. If we have these different beliefs that are internalized, perhaps, perhaps logically. Perhaps logically they’re not our beliefs, but internally subconsciously, they are. And I’ll give you an example. Perhaps you were someone who was quite permissive hewas. As a teenager in your early twenties. You were likely slut-shamed. And caught a different bad words, had different rumors spread about you, all of these different things.

And so that subconscious belief we can adopt is that. I’m a slut that my sexuality is wrong or shameful that other women attack me when I embrace my sexuality, that I am too much. And then that is wrong. And so even though externally or logically. We enjoy sex. We have so much fun with our partners and yes, we are connected to our sexuality in this beautiful pleasurable way. We are kept because we do have these internal feelings that affect our body in greater ways than our logical mind does in that we carry some shame. Some worry of too much within ourselves. And so that is capping our pleasure capacity, and one more able to do things like inner child healing and shadow work. Like I’m going to be covering in some upcoming events and in a group program launching at the end of January. As well as coaching is just such a key piece of what I do because that’s subconscious programming is a huge factor. And how we’re able to connect with our pleasure.

So when you’re able to do some of the inner child healing or shadow work and really challenge those belief systems, And release them and call in new empowering belief systems. Were able to expand that pleasure capacity because our body now feels. Safe and okay. And empowered in our full sexuality after releasing some of that shame.

Then that ties in with that next internal thing that we can work on, which is that comfort and confidence in our bodies. This is something that I find no matter how much you do love sex with your partner. Often we have different confidence issues and insecurities. Again, I’m reminded of this like Cosmo era. We grew up in that. How to lose weight, how to trim this particular area of our body, that we should be looking like this, that this is what men want to see and this, this and that. That we feel, especially if you have gone through motherhood, it adds an extra layer, but no matter where we’re at in life, Our bodies change and morph, and we can have different insecurities tied to this.

And so that brings us out of our body and into our head. When say our partner goes to. Touch or belly or different areas that we’re insecure about. And it pulls us out of our pleasure because of this lack of confidence. There can also be this. Internal safety mechanism. That is our need to control things. To stay safe. And that need to control things is very much in our head.

It’s very much within a fight flight freeze fun response mode. And that takes us out of our pleasure, that caps our pleasure capacity. And when we’re able to build the sense of love, safety, and acceptance within our body to really feel safe in our body, that we can surrender into ourselves because that really is what it is.

 

 

 

It’s not about. Just surrendering into our partner. It’s about trusting ourselves enough. To surrender into our solves and the pleasure that we can experience in the places we will go when we let go of all control. And that’s this. That’s beautiful. Void and this space of possibility for where our pleasure can go when we can fully surrender into ourselves. And trust that we can hold whatever comes up.

 

 

And to be able to get there.

It takes practice again, that ties in the weekly date nights with yourself. It ties in how unapologetic practices is really creating this foundation. For love, safety and belonging within your body. So you can surrender into yourself so you can expand your pleasure capacity. And another thing that’s tied in with an unapologetic practices and with so much of my work. Is that next internal thing that you can work on rather than having these new sex toys or these new positions is your connection with your five census. So

 

 

your pleasure capacity is directly related to your capacity to feel into all of your five senses. That’s what sends you out city? Really is. It is your connection, your ability to surrender into all of your senses. And so with that connection with your five senses, That is rooted within your body. You can’t be in your head thinking about how you feel when you hear something or smell something like that. Just doesn’t compute. When you are a sensual woman, you are in your body and you’re connected to how you feel through the census. You can feel. The sun on your face and on your body. You can. Mm. Breathe in the fresh air or smell that warm coffee or a smell, the delicious food being served to you, whatever it is.

And. Mm. You can just drop into that. And that goes with all of your senses with touch. With taste with what you see, the more you build a relationship with that. The more, you are able to really build your capacity for pleasure.

 

 

Because when you can seek pleasure throat, again, those simple everyday moments, kind of like I touched on at the beginning of the episode. When you are able to be so present with your census. And so present in the moment when you’re in the bedroom. You are so dropped in and dialed into those sensations.

And when you’re able to surrender into them, you can begin to access that altered state of consciousness flowing through the way. Of all of these different sensations and different senses that are activated within your Bo honey. And that’s where you really begin to build your capacity for pleasure.

 

 

And then finally, what really helps amplify. That even more, so much more than a new sex story, a new possession, like this is your go-to and I’ve mentioned it in so many. Podcast episodes, but if you’re really wanting to amplify your pleasure. Working with your energy and with your breath. Is your key for doing that?

And that’s something that’s going to build your orgasmic pleasure and not just drop you down to baseline. The more you work with your energy and your breath. The more you move your baseline. Ah, and the more pleasure you open yourself up to receiving, and the more you’re able to amplify that pleasure.

 

 

 

And so these are things that we work on within the unapologetic practices, and perhaps you’re hearing like connecting with your energy and breath. What does that mean? Having enough? Energy to get you through the day and to not be tired at the end of the night. And that’s not what I mean by energy. What I mean is the energy that exists within all of us. It is our life force energy, that sexual energy. It is how we connect with our energy body. So not our physical body, but we haven’t. Energy body and some of the tantric and Taoists practices that I walk clients through is connecting with this energy body and cycling this energy either through your chakras or through your microcosmic orbit. And that’s the more you’re able to connect with your energy in this way. The Morrissey.

And just, if you’re watching on the video, you can see how I’m able to just drop in and connect with this energy. And that is one hire able to amplify your sexual energy in your orgasmic pleasure. And it’s also how you’re able to begin to nourish yourself with your sexual energy. How you can move it through these energy systems in your body, you can clear up different blockages. Within these energy centers. You bring yourself more and more into alignment, you are able to hold your orgasmic energy to nourish yourself.

So

 

 

rather than orgasms being this big buildup and poof, it’s gone, energy’s gone. You can actually keep it close to you. You can run it through your energy circuits or you can simply just breathe it. Into different areas of your body. That’s what I started with is just breathing that orgasmic energy. To nourish all of your bones, your blood and your cells. And then it’s how you begin to just hold this different radiance within yourself.

 

 

 

So that’s what I mean when I’m talking about energy, I feel like I’m starting to go off on a tangent because I just love this. And then breath, you can check out one of the recent podcast episodes about how breath sound, and movement are. These three keys of tantra that really amplify your pleasure. But. Instead of that new toy or the new sex position, I encourage you to work with your breath. Breathe into your Yoni.

That is one of the key practices for my clients and insight on apologetic practices. Building this mind, body connection through your breath, into your Yoni, building your sensations that way. And you can also play with. You’re breathing pattern. Breathing slow and deep. Or breathing faster, seeing the effect that has on your pleasure. Perhaps incorporating straw breathing, breathing as if you’re breathing in and out of a straw is really great for edging. So there’s all these different fun ways we can play with breath. And that’s going to have a way bigger impact. On your pleasure on that fun juiciness and your sexual experiences. Then a new toy, a new position.

And so that is my invitation for you. If you’re someone who is craving more ness, In your sexual experiences, that more pleasure, mark connection, more juiciness, more fun. These are the things I encourage you to look at rather than just that new toy, new position, or perhaps incorporating these things with that toy and position.

And so that is. One looking at your subconscious programming. Yes. It’s a little bit more boring or dry. I have lots of journal prompts inside unapologetic practices collection to support you in that. And I encourage you to get on the wait list for the different events and group program I have coming up at the end of January.

So subconscious programming. Your comfort and confidence in your body, your connection with your five senses. Your connection with your energy and your breath. All of these things are going to really build your capacity for pleasure. And a so much more longer lasting way. Then those toys and possessions, and these are all things I work with inside the unapologetic practices collection.

You can use code podcast for 25% off. And these are all things. We work in an even deeper level inside of my upcoming group program. Ignite. I encourage you to get on the wait list. We have some great events coming up at the end of January and our program will be starting February 3rd. So link is in the show notes for that.

Thank you so much for listening. This has been a fun episode. And again, I just want to say, like, there is no right or wrong new toys. New positions can absolutely be fun. I’m just here to inspire you and encourage you. Into looking at other avenues to incorporate as well. There are going to make. That lasting impact, not only in your orgasmic pleasure, but also in how you’re able to soak up the magic of the holidays and really have that great connection with your husband, as well as that connection with your kids, because you are open and available and present in your everyday life.

So again, Just wishing you a Merry Christmas. Oh, wonderful time over the holidays. Next week. I have a unapologetic stories episode with Nicole from myeline purpose. So stay tuned for that. And I will be chatting with you in the new year. Sending you so much love and.

Wishing you love and pleasure.

Fill time over Christmas and the holidays.