Did you know your anus has more nerve endings than your vaginal canal? It just goes to show that there is massive pleasure potential in exploring this somewhat taboo area of you body and releasing the shame, fear, and perhaps trauma associated with it.

In this week’s episode we’re diving into all of this with everything you need to know about anal pleasure so you can have a beautiful experience. Not only will you learn the role your subscious pleays, but also basic safety, and how to gradually build up to anal sex. You’ll be fully equipped to explore your anal pleasure curiosities from an empowered and grounded place.

Listen To The Episode

In This Episode

  • Your anus has more nerve endings than the vaginal canal
  • Approaching anal pleasure with empowered grounded curiosity
  • Moving through shame, fear, and trauma
  • Start slow with lots of lubricant
  • Lay some groundwork with clear communication
  • Basic anal pleasure safety
  • Creating safety by incorporating anal pleasure in a gradual way
  • Incorporating holistic sex tools to amplify your pleasure

Show Notes

Transcript

Welcome to the Unapologetic with Janine McKinnon podcast, your go to place for approachable conversations around sacred sexuality and conscious relationships. I’m your host, Janine McKinnon, certified trauma informed sex, love, and relationship coach, who’s on a mission to serve you. Support 1 million women and couples to experience deeper connection and more expansive pleasure inside and outside the bedroom.

This is the space to go deep to dive below surface level relationships and mess sex and explore the sacredness that sexuality and conscious relationships have to offer. Because deep connections, spiritual sexuality, full body orgasms, and transmuted sexual energy are available to everyone. And I’m here to serve the collective, to provide the knowledge, wisdom, and tools to access them.

Thank you so much for being here. I’m so grateful we’re able to connect in this way. And I can’t wait to dig into the contents of this episode with you. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

📍 Hello. Beautiful. And welcome back to another Tuesday transmission episode inside the unapologetic with Janine McKennon podcast. And I am just feeling so refreshed, so excited to come back because as you may not know, I’ve actually been away on a two week family vacation in Mexico. And it was so much fun and we had such a great time and I’m just, I’m coming bad feeling so refreshed.

So excited. To get things going again. I feel like I have been able to really replenish myself to experience so much fun and joy relaxation with my family that now I’m all reinspired to get back into my work and to connect with all of you again. Work on some new projects with the new ignite group program launching at the end of January and just so many fun things, connecting with clients again.

It’s awesome. So I thought I would come back with a bang. And

today we are going to talk about, but stuff because it happens to be. One of the most popular questions I get when I am chatting with people at the different markets that I go to. With consultation calls I have with couples, there’s tends to be a topic that people are very curious about, and it also tends to be a very taboo topic.

So I’m wanting to show up unapologetically to give it all to you. So you feel very confident. And exploring this topic from a place of like grounded curiosity. Being safe, ready to just have so much fun, whether that is with yourself or with your partner. And one really interesting fact that I would like to share that I think quite a few people find to be surprising. I know I was personally quite surprised when I heard this is that the anus actually has more nerve endings on the vaginal canal. Super interesting and also goes to show you. That anal pleasure. There’s so much potential here.

I really believe that you can reach God and the divine. Through your butthole through anal pleasure. And I know that kind of sounds funny and probably out there to some of you, but when you really dive into the realms of sacred sexuality and when you’re going slow and you’re really cultivating. The pleasure that your body in conjunction with your anus has to offer you and you’re using your holistic sex tools.

Like the ones that I touch on in a previous episode with sound, breath, and movement. You were able to just. Touch such beautiful pleasure and can really move into states of altered consciousness. Through anal pleasure.

Do you desire to feel confident in your body and empowered in your sexuality? The honeypot meditation is a potent 12 minute visualization to support you in connecting with your sexuality and rewiring your subconscious with the confident, radiant energy you’d love to embody. Download completely free through the link in the show notes and get ready to immerse yourself in a visceral experience as you connect with your sensual, radiant essence.

📍 And I bring that up because. One thing I often get on those couples calls. Is there is a little bit of. Often the man is entrusted and often the woman is. A bit apprehensive, but open.

And I find there tends to be a bit of this. Wanting to do it for him. Kind of mentality or perspective around it. And although it is great to want to be open and play around and support. Our partners in their curiosity, it’s also really important. That we are doing it from a place that is our personal curiosity and excitement as well, and not just wanting to do it for the other person or wanting to please the other person. But because we see the pleasure and connection that we also get, and that’s where I would really love to see that motivation and exploring anal pleasure and coming from.

Because it really is such a beautiful thing to play with. But when. You have, perhaps I don’t like saying right or wrong, but just for ease of conversation, let’s say wrong mentality where it really is for the other person. And when it’s not rooted in safety and communication. That’s where things can kind of go wrong and that there can be different traumas.

There can be different pain. We can stack on these different experiences, which I’m sure many women listening to this have had. Where it hurts. They go too fast or it’s too big and it’s not a pleasant situation. And so we don’t want to repeat it. And anytime we do it does tend to repeat itself. And so our body then. Takes on this. Stress response, that’s trauma response.

And the more that stacks on the harder it is for us to be able to relax. And you really have. These beautiful situations because. These beautiful experiences. Like one of my couple said, like, they don’t want to get into this. And then have it go in a not great way. And then, oh, no, I don’t want to touch that with a 10 foot pole.

And so before we get into all of the different tips and tricks and tools and things like that, because yes, those tips and tricks and tools can help you have fantastic fun experiences. And also the foundation of why I do what I do is because often there’s this other component to our sexuality, to our relating in our connection. That needs to be looked at in order for the tips and tricks to really have weight, to really be able to have these ecstatic orgasmic experiences. And to not fall back to your baseline.

And so what I mean when I talk about that is if you are someone who has shame. Around anal pleasure. If it is talked about as wrong or dirty or different things like that. Or if you are a person who has experienced trauma in different ways, whether that is physical trauma, or perhaps you’ve had an experience where. Your partner went too fast. Or didn’t listen to you or was forceful or anything like that, even if it was a consensual experience.

And of course, if it wasn’t, there can be some trauma associated with that. As well as even hearing people talk negatively about anal sex or about annal pleasure hearing other people share about their experiences, even watching porn or different things like that, depending on your. Experience and taking in these conversations or these visuals

that can be taken on as trauma in the body and in your nervous system.

And so

 

 

if you are someone who has had any of these experiences or has any of these subconscious layers in relation to the shame and the fear and the trauma. Often, you’re going to find that even though you have the tips and the tricks and mentally knowing your experiences are no, you are now in a safe partnership. No that you want to explore anal pleasure.

You go to do the tips and tricks and your body is freezing up your tensing. You’re finding it really hard to relax. You’re getting really caught up in your head, worried about the pain or whatever it might be. This is because of all of these different subconscious nervous system, sematic layers.

 

 

And so I just bring this up. Because so many people are ready to dive into the tips and tricks and then they get there and then they’re experiencing that tightening up and that stress Or their pleasure is siphoned.

They’re not, able to fully experience that ecstatic pleasure because of these different subconscious layers that can. Yes, perhaps you’re able to relax a bit, perhaps you’re able to have a good experience. But it’s capped because of this different programming. And so that is where coaching and my different programs coming out can really help in this area because. Once you have a dressed that subconscious programming, that nervous system programming. Through inner child work through shadow work through regular embodiment practices. You’re able to release all of that. And come into these experiences, whether on your own or with a partner. Feeling relaxed. You’re able to really be present in the moment, really experiencing all the pleasure that’s available to you. And you’re able to, again, experience those waves of pleasure, that ecstatic bliss, those. Altered states of consciousness, because you have addressed all these other things.

 

 

Do you desire more in your relationship and sexuality? Whether you’re excited to explore or feel held back by your challenges, I’m here to support you where you need it. I invite you to book a complimentary connection call through the link in the show notes. During our time together, you’ll share your desires and I’ll provide you with just the right resources to support you wherever you are in your journey.

Again, that is a complimentary connection call through the link in the show notes to spark a shift in your sexuality and relationships.

📍 So I just want to bring that up again. To validate your experience.

If that’s something that you’re experiencing to let you know that there is other work outside of the tips and tricks. That together, these things can really build a beautiful experience, but I will put a pen. In that side of things. And let’s dive into the how tos, the tips and tricks. So you feel fully equipped to begin to explore this with your partners.

So kind of the golden rule when it comes to anal pleasure. Is go slow and use lots of Le. So one thing to know your anus does not lubricate itself. Like the vaginal canal dust. So, although your Yoni can get very white created, it’s only workation so things can be very slippery and sledding and pleasurable in that area.

Your anus is not the same. You need to provide that lubrication. And so making sure you have a lot of lube is very important, very key for a pleasurable experience. I personally recommend very simple oils like coconut oil. Which doesn’t stain or almond oil as well. I mean, cause you don’t really want stain sheets from your lubricant.

Those are the two bases I use in the lubricant that I sell at in-person markets. You can also go for other kinds of lubricants, whatever is your go-to. Just make sure if you are using a silicone toy, like I will be getting into you are not using a silicone based lube because it counteracts each other and eats at the silicone. So use a lot of loop. Now that’s slowness. ’cause a lot of people are worried about pain and even worried about damage. One thing to note, is that your sphincter?

So that’s basically kind of the tight part. I at your butthole. That stopped pu from coming out your boat on the day-to-day basis, because that would not be a nice thing to be dealing with. Right. And so we don’t want to cause damage to our sphincter because that’s where you can begin to have some issues. Oh, with your waste with your shit. Uh, and so. That’s why it’s so important to go slow and to make sure

you are relaxed. If those muscles are tight, you do not want to push hard because you can cause damage and cause issues you do not want to deal with. So that is just something to really be aware and perhaps provide some context into why it’s so important. To go slow, not only for your great experience.

We also don’t want to be damaging our body. Now safety and communication. Very key. You need to be able to communicate with your partner. And so having conversations outside of your sexual experience to kind of lay some ground work. Is very important. Because we can all kind of. Our nose become less. No.

When we are in those really pleasurable states. So that’s why it’s really important to discuss these things at a time. So everyone is fully aware and on board. When things get going and that anal pleasure might begin to build. Now in terms of safety. Just to note, we want to keep things clean. If you’re using any fingers or penises or toys. In your anus or round your anus, you should not at all.

Re-introduce whatever that is. To your vulva or your vagina. Because that has bacteria around your anus. You do not want to be bringing it back around your Yoni. That’s how you get infections. So once something goes into the anal area, It does not go back to your volvar vagina. Very, very important. And of course, as with all pleasure tools and toys, you want to make sure things are kept clean, that you were washing them. With AME, mild soap and water, getting rid of all those germs to prevent any infections. And also when it comes to pleasure tools or toys, If you’re using something like a butt plug. You want to make sure it has a wider and base? To prevent. It from going fully internal. Because unlike. Your vagina, where there’s an end at your cervix and you can fish things out.

And it’s not a big deal. If something does get lost up there, because nothing’s fully lost up there, you can get it out.

 

 

During, this is a whole other situation and you don’t want to end up in the emergency room. With some sort of Bo pug or pleasure toy or dildo or whatever up your ass. Like, that’s not exactly an experience we want to have, so just make sure it has a wide base stop at the end of any pleasure tool or toy that you are using.

Very, very important.

 

 

 

And so just to wrap up kind of that safety, housekeeping is that to go slow. Use lots of lubrication because your anus does not produce it on its own. Make sure you are relaxed that that’s Victor is relax so you can experience pleasure. Keep things clean. Oh, once things touches, the anus does not touch the vulva or vagina and make sure any pleasure tools or toys have that wide stopper and on the back.

So nothing gets lost and we don’t have any embarrassing emergency visits.

 

 

 

Okay. Now what are ways you can actually begin to build that? Anal pleasure. And so as with all pleasure. On female bodies. Generally, I won’t necessarily say all, but for the most part, we need to be building that pleasure from our outside edges inwards.

And so of course you want to make sure you are fully turned on and relaxed having an amazing experience. And so from that fully opened up already pleasurable state that’s when you’re going to want to begin to introduce anal pleasure. I don’t recommend. Jumping into kind of the main finale at the beginning. I recommend to have it something that’s like within your playbook with a bunch of other foreplay or other events building up to it.

So that way you were in that open and relaxed stains. And so once you feel you were ready to explore. When it comes to the anus, you can start also from the outside edges inwards. Perhaps you want to try just using a finger or a butt plug on the outside edges. Just get familiar tune into the sensations and begin to feel safe. With playing with that area of your body.

And again, this is something you can do by yourself or with a partner. And so start on that outside. Really tap into the pleasure that’s available there. And then once you feel ready, I recommend starting fingers first because fingers tend to be. Smaller. And so we can just start. Going in a little bit. How does that feel going in a little bit further and really taking it slow, having that communication? I’m slowly building up to larger things.

And so if you’re going to look at kind of an for me anyway, an ideal gradual scale of. Approaching anal pleasure from starting on the outside edges. And building up to a penis. W how you can kind of approach it as, again, those outside edges. Then using your fingers internally. And then you can get butt plugs that are different sizes. So, although I absolutely love my Juan’s obsidian plug and I do have a discount code for 10% off for all wants pleasure tools with code unapologetic. I do find if you were starting with anal pleasure, it is a little bit larger of a size. When compared to a penis, not so much, but when you’re just starting it out, it is, it can be an intimidating size. And so what I recommend. Is. A anal plug personally, I like metal.

Although there are silicone or glass options. And start small. Meniam and then perhaps Barch. One note. On metal butt plugs. That I personally made the mistake because I like gold. So it was a gold colored stainless steel butt plug. I noticed over time, parts of the. Odor plating was coming off and you could see the silver underneath.

And so I had the thought of like, where is that outside coating going? It’s obviously going up my butt. Um, so that’s not exactly something that feels like. Safe and something. I want my body to absorb. And so just word of caution for you. I would just go for a straight up stainless steel. No coding.

You don’t have to worry about any little pieces coming off. And again, there’s the silicone. Or a class options available to you? I ordered mine off pink cherry, I believe, which is a great go-to for Canadians. I do not have an affiliate code for them yet. Something I should probably look into. And so with starting with that scale, start with the small and again, start on the outside and then go to the inside. You can move up. With the buck pluck sizes. There is also the option. Of anal beans. Now, although anal beings can be very pleasurable, they can come in different textures that can feel good, different shapes and sizes. One thing I find if you are someone who is just starting out. Getting each individual bead in. Even if it is more of a silicone style, that is a little bit more sturdier. It’s awkward. It’s super awkward when you’re starting out. And it can kind of take some of the relaxed pleasure away. When you or your partner’s fiddling with trying to get each individual bead in.

So that’s why I first starting out, I recommend more the pug side, but just know those beads are available. And perhaps the no beans again. There’s those silicone base, which I personally like. Compared to the more like flexible bead style. Those can feel really good once you’re more familiar. I just don’t recommend them at the very beginning. And so once you’re more well versed, once you were more comfortable, they can be fantastic.

And. Pleasure toy. To work into your pleasure sessions. Once you’ve worked your way. Ah, then begin to play around with a penis. And again, starting slow. And playing around with depth. With that lubricant because that’s one thing with butt plugs is they do offer variability in width and a little bit of depth. But for the most part, they’re not going to have the same. Depth as an erect penis. So that really is the big difference.

Perhaps you’re going to work up to a butt plug that’s similar penis, width size. But the depth is going to be that new variable. And so that’s where that communication is really important. To go slow with how deep the penis is internally within the anus. And once you are feeling comfortable. And get with that.

The world is your oyster. Which now I think about it is like kind of a weird phrase and not fully sure where that comes from, but basically have so much fun. Again, there is so much a pleasure available for you. Within your anus

and when you were working with this spa, like again, it has so much taboo tied to it.

Often there is so much shame and again, fear and can be that trauma. And so when you’re able to. Work with this area, whether it’s with yourself or with a partner. You can release a lot of that within yourself. And if those things are very heavy again, I would love to work with you. And I just, I really recommend starting with yourself, build that safety with yourself. Going slow. And feeling comfortable. Experiencing pleasure in this area. And then move into a partner to experience. And this is part of why I always recommend weekly date nights with yourself.

So you can have kind of your pleasure lab. To play with these things feel comfortable and confident and safe and grounded, accessing pleasure in these different ways. Then bring it into the partner at experiences. I just find that. Thanks go so much more smoothly and pleasurably and fun when you do then.

And it helps. Eliminate some of that awkwardness and fumbling that can diminish your pleasure in the time being. And

I do have a full episode on why everyone should have a weekly date night with yourself. So I will try and include that in the show notes below.

 

 

And so to summarize, when you are beginning to explore anal pleasure, of course start slow. Use lots of lube. Start on the outside, working your way inside with fingers before pleasure tools or toys. I recommend gradually moving ups through butt plugs. And then trying a penis or a dildo, if that feels good and is a great way to explore your curiosities.

And once you are comfortable with all of those fun things, Then you may have fun with other anal pleasure tools, like, you know, beads or different things like that.

 

 

And then also again, bringing it back to that full, sacred sexuality side, where you can really explore so much through your anus. By incorporating things like your holistic pleasure tools. There is more to it when you’re working with your mindfulness and the divine and all these sorts of things. But those holistic pleasure tools, especially those basic three of breath, sound and movement

for those three keys of tantra really help you amplify your pleasure. And how to relax the body, because part of what. Siphons off women’s climaxes and even men’s. Is tensing. And holding your breath. So when you are breathing consciously, You’re able to allow things to expand and move and have all of that beautiful orgasmic pleasure. That was much more expansive rather than those quick little sparks. So I think that covers like the basic, when it comes to tips and tricks and different things to think of the housekeeping things. If you want to explore more tips and tricks outside of just anal pleasure, even including it.

Although this is pretty well-rounded.

is a fantastic option for you. It is like the Netflix of online sex education. I do have a code. Um, 25

that actually gives you more than 40% off. So I definitely recommend checking that out. That can be a lot of fun.

Do you want to spice things up in the bedroom but aren’t sure where to start? Beducated is your all in one sex education platform, providing you the sex education you wish you had. With tasteful and informative courses on everything from intimate connection, blowjobs, yoni massage, kink, BDSM, tantra, and so much more, Beducated has everything you need to spice things up and explore your curiosities as a couple.

Follow the link in the show notes or go to JanineMcKinnon. com slash Beducated and use code UM25 for 25 percent off. Again, that’s JanineMcKinnon. com slash Beducated and use code UM25 for 25 percent off Beducated’s online sex education platform.

📍 And if you feel like. Uh, let me some Ana pleasure. I’m ready to upgrade my pleasure tools and that obsidian butt plug sounds beautiful and fantastic. Or if you want a human explore, other. Crystal dildos or Yoni anx Juan’s is my personal go-to for pleasure tools, because I fully believe in the quality of their products, which is really important when you were putting things in these areas of your body that are very absorbent of both energy. And any chemical coatings and things like that.

So out lawns. You can get 10% off with code An apologetic. I will leave all the links in the show notes for you. Thank you for hanging out with me on this episode, learning more about pleasure. It is. It’s a fun topic and it’s nice to be able to have these conversations. Because it’s not something we need to shy away from.

So please share this with your friends. Maybe they’re curious. Or perhaps this has come up in conversation. I really encourage you to share it. That is how I’m able to help spread more of the, more of this information to the women who need to hear it because there’s so much pleasure available to us. It just takes us. And really taking the reigns in our pleasure and not just putting it in our partner’s hands, taking ownership. Of it.

And then that’s where we can begin to explore within those realms of sacred sexuality. And my final ask before signing off is if you find this podcast to be helpful, Please. Leave a rating or review. It helps so much within the podcast rankings to be able to get this podcast out to those who need to hear it.

So if you find value in this or any other episodes, I would appreciate it so much. If you could leave that rating or review within your podcast app, it means the world to me. So, again, thank you for listening. I am happy to be back. If you have any other questions, I have that complimentary consultation available to you, or you can shoot me in DM on Instagram at Janine dot McKennan.

I will leave that LinkedIn, the show notes. And just a wishing you a love and pleasure filled week.

Thank you for joining us inside the unapologetic with Janine McKinnon podcast. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If you feel called, I would so appreciate it. If you left us a review to help us reach more women and couples so they can experience deeper connection and more expansive pleasure inside and outside the bedroom too, until next time, embrace your desire and experience your magic.